BORE or BURN OUT: coaching as a way out

Changes in the business world and in Universities have marked a growth in internal and external pressures. Students who cannot cope with these pressures are predisposed to burnout due to a changing environment where compulsiveness, guilt, self-denial, and an internal institutional culture emphasizes perfectionism, denial of personal vulnerability, and delayed gratification.
Professional coaching, supports students to overcome stigmatization, sense of meaningless and provides a results s a results-oriented method to address burn and bore out, primarily by increasing one’s internal centerness.
When coaching students, a unique listening attitude can help them to enhance self-awareness, questioning  on limiting beliefs and self-defeating thoughts; learning to observe the world from a different angle by aligning personal values with professional duties.  Although an evidence base is not yet established, the theoretical basis of coaching’s efficacy derives from the fields of mindfulness, and self-determination.
Coaching involves “partnering with students in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential”. Without entering in mentoring, counseling and psychologist process, coaching can boost and support students to see hidden inner resources and through time-line sessions, ignite sufficient inner resources and the necessary expertise to tackle life challenges, and provides the guidance to overcome difficulties.
It is easier to find the cause of our pain externally in someone else, rather than saying and admitting that something should change. Starting from the principles that I cannot fix problems, I think students are unique and perfect as they are, the only shift needed is the perception of reality.
In N L P (neuro linguistic programming), we know that human beings perceive realities through 5 senses and that what we think it is reality, is a part of reality because we have already distorted deleted and generalizes some information which are not useful for us.
So what reality are we thinking about? A general one, a distorted one, a deleted one? Alternatively, a new reality we see through our eyes and filter through our emotions?
Coaching increases self-efficacy and self-determination, strengthening the motivation of taking care of personal well-being. The overarching premise of professional coaching, in fact, is that people have more control over their life circumstances and satisfaction than they typically realize.
I support my students to clarify values and align them with their professional and personal goals, an objective of known importance in increasing energy. Rather than as sign uninspiring to-do lists, coaches can build motivation by eliciting solutions from clients, thus increasing personal investment, and making next steps obvious, possible, and even invigorating.  A co-creation for the wellbeing of people.   What if Burn-OUT is there to ask yourself the following questions?
  • what needs to die in myself?
  • what I do not see that desperately wants to be seen?
Are you ready to start the journey of your unicity? The unique journey ? If not now ….. when?

BeyourCoach

Coaching is like putting the skin back on my body. Every time I coach a client it nourishes me more. The “skin” is not yet complete.

This unique relationship between coach and coachee becomes one of approaching the client as someone to work with in tapping into the client’s own sense of unfolding growth and potential.  By mirroring my client I really put the skin back to my body:  the more the client is growing and empowered the more my skin becomes rich, pure light and reflects beauty of my soul.

THANK YOU

 

 

BeFriend your body

A lot of us (me included) tend to burden and stress our bodies. That might be okay for a short-term emergency but it’s no way to run the marathon that is the human lifespan.

 

So, this week’s practice is: befriend your body. Pick one way (or more) to treat your body like a good friend for a minute, an hour, or a whole day – and see what happens. Kindness begins at home, and our physical home is the body.

 

Also:

 

Coaching is about helping you increase everyday happiness, build inner strengths, and get the most out of life. We’ll explore how to transform thoughts for the better, mindfulness, self-compassion, and the science of emotional balance.

 

Exercise

 

Any negative beliefs can be challenged and changed if you confront them with truth. The first step is to become aware of them. I have a task for you

Make two lists. In the first, list all the positive beliefs you have about your body, in the second list all the negative beliefs you have about your body

Look at the list of positive beliefs, remember the positive things that led you to hold those beliefs, write them down. Now look at the negative beliefs , in each case ask yourself in your heart and mind do you truly, honestly believe this, if the answer is no, let go of that belief right now.

 

If you do believe it, why?

 

Where did this belief come from?

 

Who or what influenced you? How did you form it (based on which experiences)?

 

How do you feel about the person who gave you this belief?

 

Do you respect them?

 

Are/were they always right?

 

What facts back up this belief?

 

What is this belief costing you on a daily basis?

 

What will holding on to this belief mean for you in the long term?

 

If this belief is hurting you, holding you back, and challenged by the facts are you ready to let go of this self-limiting belief?

 

Turn the negative belief into a positive statement, write it down.

 

To help motivate you… if you could eliminate this belief, what could be the substantial benefits to you?

 

One way to stop believing that you cannot do something is to just try doing it. Once a belief has been proven wrong it loses its power, as was evident when Roger Bannister ran the mile in under 4 minutes.

 

 

Books _ Our Pristine Mind, Orgyen Chowang

Coaching: a relationship based on trust

What I do and what I want to offer to my clients?
The client is the source and director of change.
– DO I realize how much potential my client has?
– DO I trust myself in this unique relationship?
– DO I let it go?

The more I enter in emptyness mode, the more my Client will unfold his potential

LESS DO I
MORE IS HE

Coaching …. is mirroring

 

The world is as you dream it… a mirror. Out there you find your reflection, the world that you have made, that you have dreamed. Out there you can find yourself! Go, go out into the world and see what you are. You will discover that others are the reflected image of the lie that is living inside you, of your compromises, your ignorance.

Change!… and the world will change.

You create a sick world, and then you fear your own creation, the thing you yourself gave birth to. You think the world is an objective fact… but the world is as you dream it. Go into the world and accept yourself. Meet the poor, the violent, and the lepers that dwell inside you. Accept them… Do not avoid them, do not blame them… Surrender to your world. Go and consciously accept what you have created: a world that is rigid, ignorant… lifeless.

Man’s power lies in his capacity to master himself while at the same time surrendering to himself.»

It’s time to abandon your conflictual vision of the world. It’s time for you to die to all that which is lifeless. It’s time to be reborn. It’s time for a new exodus and a new freedom. It is the greatest adventure a man can possibly imagine: the regaining of his own lost integrity

 “The School for Gods”

 

Our Family, our Tree

PICT1965

 

What if you could consider your parents like Roots and yourself like a Tree?

When a tree is strong?

What rapport between its roots and the tree itself?

How trees communicate between themselves?

What happen when the wind blows?

Our family, the roots of our Tree … the deeper, the stronger.

 

Unconditional positive regard

When I really want to engage in the process of empathy, it is necessary to forget my EGO and maintain a stance of unconditional positive regard, love and acceptance of the other. As a coach I can build ‘rapport’ with my client if I am able to maintain an attitude of refraining from judgment.

How much am I aware of how important is to make ’empty space’ to welcome my client?

How can I shift attention to my internal dialogue in order to move towards him and become a ‘mirror’?

How am I sure I mirroring himself and send back to my client his/her thoughts, desires, wishes and sources?

How clear is my soul to reflect his/her thoughts and potential?

 

Where does it come from?

WHERE IT COMES FROM THAT

 

you do not believe in yourself?

you are scared about future?

you find so difficult to realize your dreams?

you feel stuck?

you do not know what to do?

 

Coaching is the adventure to move forward and to discover another layer of your wonderful personality.

 

I have walked through many lives,

some of them my own,

and I am not who I was,

though some principle of being

abides, from which I struggle

not to stray.

When I look behind,

as I am compelled to look

before I can gather strength

to proceed on my journey,

I see the milestones dwindling

toward the horizon

and the slow fires trailing

from the abandoned camp-sites,

over which scavenger angels

wheel on heavy wings.

Oh, I have made myself a tribe

out of my true affections,

and my tribe is scattered!

How shall the heart be reconciled

to its feast of losses?

In a rising wind

the manic dust of my friends,

those who fell along the way,

bitterly stings my face.

Yet I turn, I turn,

exulting somewhat,

with my will intact to go

wherever I need to go,

and every stone on the road

precious to me.

In my darkest night,

when the moon was covered

and I roamed through wreckage,

a nimbus-clouded voice

directed me:

“Live in the layers,

not on the litter.”

Though I lack the art

to decipher it,

no doubt the next chapter

in my book of transformations

is already written.

I am not done with my changes.

Stanley Kunitz, “The Layers” from The Collected Poems of Stanley Kunitz. Copyright © 1978 by Stanley Kunitz.  Reprinted by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
Source: The Collected Poems of Stanley Kunitz (W. W. Norton and Company, Inc., 2002)